Discovering good movies, one bad movie at a time

The creators: Writer/director Glen Morgan, who was in his day one-half of the writing team responsible for some of the finest episodes of the early seasons of The X-Files. 2006 was not his day. (His writing partner, James Wong, is on hand as producer). The plot: First, that viewer which looks for more of the […]

It’s precisely three shots into The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn – Part 1 that Taylor Lautner takes his shirt off, and in all honesty I don’t suppose that there can possibly be a more legitimate justification for seeing the movie. Actually, the shocking thing about Breaking Dawn 1 is that, after three years and four […]

There are two ways we can think of Immortals. The more satisfying is to compare it to its two most obvious antecedents, 300 and Clash of the Titans, and think to oneself, “Holy balls! That was made by a filmmaker who doesn’t fumble about like a goddamn rodeo clown! GENIUS!” The other way is to […]

I would like to take credit for calling Abduction, the first feature headlined by soul-crushingly generic teenage hunk Taylor Lautner, by the alternate title Abs-duction. Sadly, I cannot, for it isn’t mine, but was given me by a friend who is welcome to claim it in comments. I have shared it with you not because […]

The best one could hope from a movie titled Shark Night 3D is that it be gleefully crass, with a plethora of sharks lashing out at the camera. Indeed, in my boundless innocence and optimism, I would go so far as to say that there is no other possible reason to give a movie the […]

The latest cinematic version of the classic European folk tale Red Riding Hood has come down to us lately, giving everybody a chance to see, on the big screen, the familiar tale of a medieval village gripped by the paranoiac fear of the local werewolf, and the young woman torn between her childhood sweetheart and […]

Even if Beastly were a bad movie – which, in fact, it is; a very bad movie indeed – it would still be worth getting excited for the fact that it rings in a brand new subgenre: the Post-Twilight Emo Fairy Tale. Excited? “Terrified”, I meant to say. In this case, we have Beauty and […]

I know Josh Hime to be a good man, and I knew this even before he publicly gave to charity in the form of the Carry On Campaign. And yet, this good man has done something terrible to me, in punishment for what sin I do not know. Whatever it was, I am truly sorry. […]

It would be presumptuous to declare that in the first weekend of February, we’ve already found the worst film of 2011 – a year that will see the release of Transformers: Bang, Zoom, To the Moon, lest we forget – but The Roommate encourages that kind of presumption. A trashy crypto-remake of Single White Female […]

Somewhere in all the swampiness of wasted acting talent and artificially-flavored heteronormativity and a terror of sex that masks itself in acres of naked movie star flesh and filty dialogue, No Strings Attached is hiding a deep, dark secret: it’s actually not that bad. It’s not that good either, of course. There’s little hope for […]

I like to imagine that Jacques Demy first thought up The Umbrellas of Cherbourg as a direct response to Jean-Luc Godard’s 1961 A Woman Is a Woman. That film, a splashy Technicolor Cinemascope musical, was also every inch a Godard film: amiably cynical, eager to tear itself apart and reveal all of the ways that […]

I have not read Kazuo Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go, a widely-praised 2005 novel about life of a certain sort in a dystopian Britain in an alternate 20th Century. But I sort of feel as though I have read it, thanks to the new film adaptation written by Alex Garland (a sometime-collaborator of Danny Boyle), […]