Discovering good movies, one bad movie at a time

If you’ve ever thought that the story of how the blessed virgin Mary met and wed the Nazarene carpenter Joseph before the two of them traveled to Bethlehem in time for her to give birth to the Son of God would be a really great subject for a teen romcom… wow. I am concerned about […]

The best film of Disney’s ongoing, increasingly worn-out cycle of live-action (and/or photorealistic CGI that the studio stubbornly declares to be “live-action” as a marketing hook) remakes of its classic animated features is 2016’s Pete’s Dragon, which isn’t even a remake of an animated feature anyways, and that probably helped. It also helped that Pete’s […]

I’m not sure that 1986 is the literal earliest year it’s even possible to conceive of such a thing as a feature film adaptation of a video game (the Pac-Man television series was already four years old at that point, and if you can make a television series based on a video game, you can […]

As of its auspicously-numbered 13th feature, The Super Mario Bros. Movie, two of the three best features ever made by Illumination are its two most recent films (Minions: The Rise of Gru was the last one), so maybe we stand at the dawn of a new run of quality projects from that studio, during which […]

The Whale, essentially, does not work – “does not work as a movie”, I am almost tempted to say, in deference to its origins as a well-received stage play by Samuel D. Hunter (adapting the work to a screenplay himself). But frankly, I suspect it’s not any great shakes onstage, either; the dialogue and characterisations […]

There’s plenty of room to do a serious overhaul on the narrative formula of A Christmas Carol, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that. As what surely must be the work of English-language fiction to have been adapted into the greatest number of different films, plays, television episodes, and I imagine other […]

Since its 1985 publication, Don DeLillo’s most celebrated novel, White Noise, has been one of cinema’s white whales. In various superficial respects, the book has always appeared ripe for adaptation—characters are vivid; snappy dialogue abounds; there’s even a literally central catastrophe that unmistakably lends itself to visual pyrotechnics. Yet it’s taken nearly 40 years for […]

Erich Maria Remarque’s undying 1928 anti-war novel All Quiet on the Western Front has the uncommon fortune for a major literary classic to have been adapted into a major cinematic classic, and this happened almost immediately: the U.S.-produced adaptation that would go on to win the Academy Award for Outstanding Production (i.e., Best Picture) at […]

Every week this summer, we’ll be taking an historical tour of the Hollywood blockbuster by examining an older film that is in some way a spiritual precursor to one of the weekend’s wide releases. This week: in addition to having the most soullessly branded title of any superhero movie this year, DC League of Super-Pets […]

Witchcraft XIV: Angel of Death and Witchcraft XV: Blood Rose were shot at the same time by the same group of people. There should be no reason for them to be as far apart in quality as they are, and yet: Angel of Death is no great shakes, but it’s basically watchable as a bargain-basement […]

There is something indescribably soothing about the existence of Sonic the Hedgehog 2 in its current form. And that starts right with the fact that it’s been titled Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and not, like, Sonic the Hedgehog: Knuckle Down or Sonic the Hedgehog: Tails I Win, or Sonic the Hedgehog: In the Shadow of […]

Video game adaptations are, one sometimes suspects, inherently doomed. Either the source material doesn’t have any story and so one has to be welded on crudely, or it has enough story to cover a 20-hour experience that has to be basically started from scratch to fit feature length, and in either case, the story is […]