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A review requested by Jonny Mugwump, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. At the risk of immediately sounding like the absolute dumbest motherfucker imaginable, I think there’s a very good reason it’s called Picnic at Hanging Rock, not Disappearance at Hanging Rock. Along with L’avventura, this is one of cinema’s […]
69 years after Hondo Ishiro’s masterpiece Godzilla created the most iconic non-human monster in the history of world cinema, a period that has seen the release of 32 feature films starring the great lizard from Japan and a handful from Hollywood, as well a multiple television programs, it takes very little actual effort to have […]
I would say that Thanksgiving is the best version of itself I can imagine, but even that’s selling it short: I couldn’t even imagine it turning out as well as it did. The film originated as a parody trailer directed by Eli Roth for the 2007 exploitation film homage Grindhouse, written by himself & Jeff […]
I would like to start by making it clear that The Nun II is not a good movie. I am giving it a good review anyway, because I am very easy mark for a certain kind of dipshit haunted-house atmosphere, so take that as you will. I would also like to point out that this […]
There are two claims I would like to make about Saw X, and both of them surprise the hell out of me. The weaker claim, which is still a bit on the aggressive side, is that Saw X is the best of the ten Saw films stretching back to 2004, though the series has been […]
Regardless of whether or not I should, in the year of our Lord 2023, want to extend any benefit of the doubt to director David Gordon Green, I cannot help but wish to, and in the case of his 16th feature, The Exorcist: Believer, the extension I would make is this: early in the film, […]
I will say this about Five Nights at Freddy’s, an extremely unlikable piece of shit movie whose enormous, instantaneous box-office success has filled me with the gloomy suspicion that we’re staring down the gun barrel of a new epoch where the only movies that become hits are the ones that canĀ be turned into memes: […]
My hope for The Pope’s Exorcist before I watched it was that Russell Crowe’s instantly-legendary spicy meat-a-ball of an “Italian” accent would remain amusing throughout the film’s 103-minute length. This was akin to hoping, upon starting a trip to Yosemite, that you’d see some large trees: you’d get what you wanted even more than you […]
It’s odd to say of Insidious: The Red Door, no less than the fifth film in a series, “that sure seems like an unnecessary sequel”, but the Insidious series has followed a crooked path. First there was Insidious, which premiered in 2010 but for all intents and purposes is a 2011 film, and it was […]
A review requested by Michael, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! We have absolutely no evidence that this is actually how it went down (arguably, we have evidence to […]
A review requested by Kelleson, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! Midway through director Frank Henenlotter’s sixth and (thus far) last narrative feature, the 2008 Bad Biology, one of […]