A film called Amityville Exorcism was just about inevitable, and the only surprise is that it took until January 2017 for somebody to release it. Time alone will tell how long we have to wait for Amityville Halloween and The Amityville Chainsaw Massacre – the heaving glut of microbudget Amitvyilles has slowed down at the […]
The controversy is dead, dead, dead, and far be it from me to bring it up at this late, but I think the pre-release outrage in the United States over The Great Wall is telling. Matt Damon in a historical action movie set in 11th Century China? Must be a pandering White Savior gesture, went […]
The odds against horror movies adapted from the novels and short stories of Stephen King are not favorable; it might well be the case that only Carrie from 1976 and The Shining from 1980 (the first and third King adaptations of any kind) are so obviously, objectively good that you can get away calling them […]
So, at the start of Amityville: No Escape, this bullshit happens: And there’s a lot we could say about that, no doubt, but I’ll tell you what really gets to me: “inauspicious?” Yeah, I mean that’s one word for it. Assuming that the haunting is what ruins an otherwise elegant dinner party, or something. Point #2 […]
The two-part TV miniseries Salem’s Lot, the second film ever adapted from the writings of Stephen King, premiered on CBS in November, 1979, and other than a scant handful of anthology series episodes, that was it for King on television for eleven years. The two-part TV miniseries It premiered on ABC in November, 1990, and […]
A review requested by Caleb Wimble, with thanks for supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! Having been born in 1981, I am from a very precise generational cohort that is now and […]
Emily Dickinson was a poet obsessed with death and Terence Davies is a film director obsessed with religious guilt, so it makes sense that his film about her would be profoundly morbid, and A Quiet Passion is. The thing I wasn’t expecting at all is that it would also be the funniest movie released in […]
Of all the movies over the years that have brazenly ripped off Alien, Life sure is one of them. At least it has this going on in its favor: it cost more than a lot of its brethren, and so it looks shinier and sleeker. If there are to be no inventive moments and no […]
When one gets neck-deep in the muck of persistently godawful cinema – as one must certainly have done as a prerequisite for ever supposing that watching The Amityville Terror, from 2016, is a good idea – little things start to seem really important. Like you need to grab onto something, if this is going to […]
A review requested by Tristan Frayling, with thanks for supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! Like many a film, Go feels like it could only possibly have ever been made in the […]
