How do you do, fellow kids? We’re on the eve of the release of Bodies Bodies Bodies, a satiric horror film whose trailer is the most shameless goddamn thing ever, urgently promising us that this is The Film Of Our Times, and that it is going to Speak To Its Generation so hard that it looks like it might sprain something. Whether this is going to be good or bad […]
It’s summertime at the movies, and you know what that means: time for all the biggest sequels, brand extensions, spin-offs, and nostalgic cash grabs. In other words: movie franchises! And with one of the all-time biggest franchises preparing to come to an end (till next time) with Jurassic World: Dominion on June 10, we thought it would be a great opportunity to take a look at some of our favorite […]
Some table-setting is necessary before diving deep into RRR. First, while the term “Bollywood” has been freely applied to the film, it is important to note that this film is technically “Tollywood,” a term for cinema in the Telugu language spoken in the Indian states Andhra Pradesh and Telangana. However, Tollywood can also refer to Bengali cinema from the Tollygunge region and RRR director S.S. Rajamouli prefers not to use the […]
There is dumb, and then there is Roland Emmerich dumb. To wit: -Dumb: “William Shakespeare’s” plays were written by a nobleman, possibly Edward De Vere. Roland Emmerich Dumb: Also King James I was a gay dwarf. -Dumb: The Mayans predicted the end of the world in the year 2012. Roland Emmerich Dumb: This will happen because the sun begins spewing mutated neutrinos at the Earth. -Dumb: Godzilla is American now. […]
Some folks love the Oscars, and obsessively follow them every year, nomination announcements to award campaigning to treating the grand ceremony like their Super Bowl. On the other hand, some folks hate the Oscars, and think it’s simply Hollywood patting themselves on the back, while largely ignoring both quality big-budget populism and great arthouse cinema in favor of vanilla, middle-of-the-road “crowd-pleasing” formula (AKA Oscarbait). And then there are folks who […]
Tomorrow, 8 February 2022, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences announces its nominees for the Oscars for the recent shortened year – 1 March through 31 December 2021. Because of the specific ways in which my mind is broken, I’m compelled once again to offer my predictions for the nominees in all 23 categories. And a very big thanks to our new contributors, Mandy Albert and Chris Trengove, […]
I’m no purist. I don’t think there are all that many things you need to include in a film adaption of the long-running video game series Mortal Kombat. While the games have a fairly involved overarching story line, I don’t really think most players are that aware of what it is, and anyway it’s been developed over so many different entries in the franchise, with so many different curlicues, that […]
With Godzilla squaring off against King Kong (for the second time!), we’ve turned our attention to some of the best versus-es in cinema history. We’re getting ready to fight about the top 5 rivalries in movie history, the antagonism and fighting and lifelong grudges and discovering that you both have mothers with the first name “Martha”, and all of it. In Worth Mentioning, we cover Godzilla vs Kong, Assassin 33 […]
So, Cats & Dogs 3: Paws Unite! You’ve just got to love the stubborn optimism of that exclamation point, by the way. Like we’ll be convinced that it’s a bubbly, fun bit of high-energy nonsense if our brain reflexively rises up in volume as we read it Also, I cannot shake the feeling that it should be Paws United, with a past participle, and either way, it’s a kind of […]
Senioritis Editor’s note: with this review of Spontaneous, we’re happy to welcome Brennan Klein to the team as “permanent guest” reviewer. At Brennan’s request, I’ll be marking out all of his reviews so you don’t accidentally think they’re by me, but we look forward to having him help cover some of the many VOD releases coming out these days that I haven’t been able to catch yet. -TB 2020, for […]
The problems with Maleficent: Mistress of Evil begin right with its title. It’s a reference to a climactic moment in the 1959 Disney animated feature Sleeping Beauty, in which the imperious evil fairy Maleficent, voiced with haughty cruelty by Eleanor Audley, reveals to the protagonists that they have failed in their single goal: “You poor, simple fools. Thinking you could defeat me. Me, the mistress of all evil!” So far […]
When Marvel blew the world apart back in 2012 with The Avengers and the creation of the most financial dominant shared universe in cinema history, two things leapt to my mind. The first thing was that DC and Warner Bros. weren’t going to be able to compete with that financially, and it would maybe be much more aesthetically satisfying if they didn’t try, but used their (much superior, in my […]
