Discovering good movies, one bad movie at a time

So, I think we might have it: the Michael Bay-est movie that Michael Bay has ever made. Which is ironic, because it is tremendously obvious as you’re watching Transformers: The Last Knight that Bay didn’t want to be involved. That’s nothing new, of course; I think that Bay has pledged that every new Transformers film […]

Love him or hate him – I know which side I’m on! – the fact that Michael Bay of all people has turned into a “one for me, one for the studios” director is utterly fascinating. One would not imagine that a man whose name has become a shorthand for lowest-common-denominator popular excess would have […]

Every week this summer, we’ll be taking an historical tour of the Hollywood blockbuster by examining an older film that is in some way a spiritual precursor to one of the weekend’s wide releases. This week: because nobody stopped them when the dragged god-damned dinosaurs into the ice age two movies ago, the makers of […]

A review requested by Pat King, with thanks for donating to the Second Quinquennial Antagony & Ecstasy ACS Fundraiser. Recommended musical accompaniment to this review. Obviously, if we’re talk about pure, rancid anti-cinematic imbecility, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen is Michael Bay’s worst movie and will almost certainly remain that way, for it’s difficult to […]

Transformers and its sequels are not very brainy films. I think that we can all agree on that, regardless of how we specifically feel about the films otherwise. They are, in fact, about as non-brainy as science fiction cinema gets. And this is typically held against them by people and critics who would like our […]

There comes a time when you start to think, “Am I really going to start ranking the Transformers films?”, and the answer turns out to be “apparently”. Because there’s a lot of chatter out there about how Transformers: Age of Extinction is so godalmighty awful, and it’s really not, actually. Now, Transformers: Revenge of the […]

Two things about Pain & Gain: first, that Michael Bay, for all that I frequently can’t stand his adrenaline-first, humanity-never approach to action filmmaking, is nevertheless a better director than Transformers and its sequels, and I think it was the best thing in the world for him to scale back, further back even than the […]

Apologies all ’round that it took me this long to post a review of Transformers: Dark of the Moon. You see, I ran right out to see it when it opened three days ago, and it just now ended. At 157 minutes, Dark of the Moon is the longest of the now-three Transformers pictures – […]

I did not like Transformers. I have come to think, in fact, that it is Michael Bay’s worst movie ever, just barely noodging out The Island, although it ought to be mentioned that I have not seen Pearl Harbor, and I’m fucking well disinclined to ever go out and see Pearl Harbor. But I was […]

When last we saw noted auteur Michael Bay, he had just shat upon the world The Island, a film so insipid you could use it to scour paint off your walls. Still, it apparently impressed none other than Steven Spielberg so very much that he donned his Executive Producer hat to work with Bay on […]