YESTERDAY’S NEWS…TODAY!

By this point, everyone who possibly gives a damn about the State of the Union (here) or the Democratic response from Sen. Jim Webb (here) has already read both of those documents, and nothing I can say about that would really add to the wisdom of my betters (here).

I’m sad relieved to say, I was too busy watching the first new Veronica Mars in weeks to pay any attention at the time (freaking good episode, too – I was moved quite to tears at the end, because I cry easily and because I am a 15-year-old girl), but I dutifully read the transcript, and my primary addition to the discourse shall be: what a fuckin’ baby. The whole thing is shot through with this overwhelming feeling of umbrage that he has to work with the Congress now, rather than get whatever he wants whenever he wants, and mebbe he’ll jus take his toys an’ go play with Iran! Not to mention that opening bit about being honored to share a platform with Nancy Pelosi, which I have to assume was even more insincere on camera than it is in text.

That’s not what I mostly want to talk about, though. What I most want to talk about is the official White House photo of the event:

Does anyone else get the same vibe I do? This picture is totally like those Disney cartoons where Donald or Pluto will have a little shoulder angel and a little shoulder devil, from the composition to the colors (Cheney’s dark suit & reddish tie vs. Pelosi’s light blazer) to the looks on their faces (Pelosi looks good and happy, while Cheney looks…constipated, actually, which I guess is happier than usual for Cheney). Plus, if my memory serves the devil is always on the left and the angel is always on the right. Not that I disagree with any of this, mind you, but it’s not the sort of thing I’d put out there, if I were the White House.

Also, I’ve been asked to comment on yesterday’s Razzie nominations. I must confess, that while I make an effort to see every conceivable Oscar nominee, the Razzies…not so much. Mostly they’re bad comedies, and those are just a misery to sit through.

I did see two of their nominees for Worst Picture, though, and it’s obvious that somebody hates The Wicker Man a lot more than I did. It was bad, of course, but not as bad as, say, Stay Alive or The Pink Panther.

I really do wish that they’d been a bit harsher to this year’s many failed prestige pictures, chiefly All the King’s Men and Bobby, and especially World Trade Center. That would have been ballsy, perhaps too ballsy for what is essentially a great big joke, but I wasn’t outraged by The Wicker Man. I was outraged by Bobby.

That said, I now regret even more that I missed out on the nominations leader Basic Instinct 2, and I must absolutely rent it, if just to see the Worst Screen Couple nominee, Sharon Stone’s lopsided breasts.