A review of my triumphant return to movie-viewing:
The Star Wars Holiday Special has shown me all that I expect it ever shall, which I guess is to be expected after having seen it four times. Except it had already shown me all that it ever would after the first screening. Why do I return? Masochism. Sheer masochism.
At this point, it is absolutely the case that I find nothing whatsoever amusing within the film. Literally the only joy I got out of watching it last night was the evident pain of the SWHS virgin sitting next to me. That’s what this film reduces you to: delight in the misery of your fellow man.
If you haven’t seen it, don’t. Trust me on this, I’m a professional.
The evening’s second feature was a distinct improvement: Troll 2, one of the classic bad movies of the modern era. It’s ranked at #7 on the IMDb Bottom 100, which speaks more to the thin skin of most IMDb users (I have seen Zombie Lake, and Troll 2, you’re no Zombie Lake), but also really doesn’t seem all that unfair. After SWHS, just about anything would have been enjoyable, but I found Troll 2 as funny as just about any bad film I’m familiar with.
Unlike most films of this type, it is not chiefly bad for its screenplay or its direction (although those are certainly not good), but for its acting. None of the performers seemed to be acting on the same physical plane, and two of them (I shan’t name names, but if you’ve seen it you know who I’m talking about) are clearly – oh, so clearly – reading off of a cue card.
Of course, this is the film that gave us the infamous line, “Nilbog! It’s ‘goblin’ spelled backwards! This is their kingdom!” so I don’t want to put all the blame on the actors.
Lastly, and most importantly, there is a character named Sheriff Gene Freak. I do not know how you can possibly avoid running out and renting this immediately, given that knowledge.