Tonight the inestimable Cameron Patterson Shaw was in Evanston. And there was much rejoicing. A little bit of Panera here, a little bit of the Daily Show there.
If you do not know Ms. Shaw, I can only respond: you should. And the mere fact that you have never been to Evanston and have no relationship with myself beyond the ineffability of the web is no excuse. All people should know Cameron.
Anyway, the point of this post is not to go on and on about how good a person she is, but for me to wax poetical-like for a bit. Actually, that’s not even true. Mostly, I want to complain about the implacable march of time that separates people. I do not believe I will ever be in the position to become as close to as many people as I did in the four years I was an undergraduate (that’s a lie: it was really just the second and third year), and yet that same four year period is specifically designed to end with a clamorous thud. It’s horrible, but there you have it. The people who know the most about me in the whole world have divided onto the coasts and across the heartland, and ne’er shall we be brought together again, not all at once anyway. And let us be optimistic, and assume that a new wave of friends, lovers and acquaintences awaits me in the future; what keeps them from splitting up eventually?
I am bad with loss, and I am bad with parting. And I regret that pieces of me have gone to California, to New York, and to the other places. Some whose Romanticism tends towards other directions than my own could argue that it is a sign of living that we lose those who matter to us, and that life will continue. Bullshit. It hurts, and it should hurt. Every separation is a little death; each time we say goodbye something ends. And I’ve said goodbye too damn many times in the last three months.
Most of my best friends are gone. And no matter what friends I make in the future, there’s nothing can compare with being up at 3:00 AM discussing German board games, and I don’t think there will be too much of that in the days to come.
It is said: everyone dies alone. It’s funny because it’s true.
(This is what happens when I accidentally buy and listen to emo).