From a friend and reader: “Send these people your resume and some clips or I will kick your ass.” Hard to say “no” to a sentiment like that (she could totally do it, too). And while none of the posted jobs are “movie reviewer,” nobody ever lost anything by submitting their portfolio. So the time has at last come for me to unveil a plot that has been brewing in my mind for some months – some of you know it, some of you have probably guessed, and some (a small number, I’d wager) will be completely suprised to learn that a big part of the reason I’ve written so goddamn many film reviews of so many bad films lately is because frankly, I’d like to be doing this for money instead of being a little office monkey for a media consulting company. And I figured, what better forum for developing a nice little portfolio of review samples?
Here’s where you (the great teaming mass of unnamed “you”) come in: I lack the critical distance necessary to judge my own writing (as in, I think my Hostel review is one of the cleverest things I’ve ever done), so it’s probably best if I have some help putting this all together. Hence something I should have done long ago: an index to all of my movie reviews. I’d take it as a kindness if all of you good people would help me pick my eight or ten best reviews to send off into the world and hopefully secure me a position of wealth, fame and influence. Vote in comments! Dash off an e-mail (the button over there, under my picture)! I put my future in your hands, dear readers. Be gentle.