May, and the official start of Blockbuster Movie Season, is still a week away, but I hope you’ll forgive me for jumping the gun a bit.
Incidentally, there are fewer summer movies this year that I’m even vaguely interested than in any other year of my adult life. A sign of worse films, or my growing cynicism? Read on!
5.1.2009
The earliest tentpole release ever (it appears that next year will see the start of summer recede to May 7), a desperate attempt to keep a foundering franchise alive under one of the most ungainly titles ever: X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Three years after X-Men: The Last Stand poisoned the once-brilliant series, I think it’s an open question if anyone gives a damn anymore, or if there’s anything remotely worth saying. I will admit that if Fox is hellbent on making prequels, there’s probably not a better character they could have picked.
Counter-programming for the wee ones: the animated sci-fi adventure Battle for Terra, which looks so absolutely ugly that I can’t even say it. Counter-programming for faux-adults: Ghosts of Girlfriends Past, with Matthew McConaughey, being all McConaughish. Counter-programming for snobby cinephiles like me: The Limits of Control, in which OH FUCKING YES IT’S A NEW JIM JARMUSCH FILM THANK GOD.
8.5.2009
One of the buzziest movies of the year – which I think can be blamed on the internet fanboys who make buzz, and not the movie’s actual buzz – is J.J. Abrams’s revised take on Star Trek. My view: there is nothing to be excited about here. Abrams is a wholly unexceptional producer with far too high of a reputation (Lost is much better for his total absence from its daily production), and the original Star Trek became a classic for the characters and performers, not for the plots, setting or ginormous CGI explosions. I do not expect terrible things, but I expect even less that it will be more than dimly entertaining.
The only other “wide” release is Next Day Air, apparently a narcotic comedy starring Mos Def. I can be okay with that. I know essentially nothing else about this film.
Opening just in New York and Los Angeles (for the time being) – but I’m exciting enough to mention it anyway: Rudo y Cursi, the reunion of Gael García Bernal and Diego Luna, eight years after Y tu mamá también, and directed by Carlos Cuarón, brother of Alfonso (and co-writer of Y tu mamá también).
15.5.2009
Of this much I am certain: Wolverine and Star Trek might be good. But the third big release of the year, Angels & Demons, will not be. A sequel to the godawful Da Vinci Code, still directed by the frequently dubious Ron Howard, still co-written by the indefensible Akiva Goldsman, still starring Tom Hanks, who at least has received a new, not-stupid haircut.
Limited releases! The Brothers Bloom, the somewhat-delayed second film by young genius Rian Johnson; Management, a quirky indie rom-com which I expect will be like every other quirky indie rom-com in the last, I don’t know, 15 years.
22.5.2009
The first head-to-head match-up between presumptive blockbusters of the season: for the familes, Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian, the sequel to a movie that as far as I can tell, nobody much cares about anymore, and for the teenaged, Terminator Salvation, the continuation of a franchise that people still vaguely care about but not in any kind of serious way.
Leaving the poor Wayans brothers and their Dance Flick lost in between, doomed to an obscurity that… well, that it will fully deserve, in all probability.
29.5.2009
And, at long last, just under the wire for the first month, there’s a summer movie that I am completely thrilled to see: Pixar’s Up, directed by Pete Docter of Monsters, Inc. and boasting a truly great trailer – a real rarity for the studio, actually. There’s no possible way for it to live up to the standard set by Ratatouille and WALL-E, though, right? Because if it is, I don’t think I can survive the resultant ecstasy.
The rest of the weekend looks pretty good, too: Sam Raimi’s return to straight-up horror for the first time in many, many years: Drag Me to Hell. Plus, the most recent Oscar winner for Best Foreign Film (in summer? Wow), Japan’s Departures.
Box Office Predictions
Since I did the same thing last year, and was fantastically wrong – so wrong that I didn’t even bother doing a post-summer analysis – I present for your edification and my humiliation a prediction for the ten highest-grossing summer movies.
Biggest Opening: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (Tue/Wed: $35 million; Wed-Sun: $148 million)
Top 10:
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen ($325 million)
Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince ($290 million)
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian ($240 million)
Star Trek ($230 million)
Up ($225 million)
X-Men Origins: Wolverine ($215 million)
Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs ($205 million)
Angels & Demons ($200 million)
Terminator Salvation ($180 million)
G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra ($150 million)