So, we can all agree it’s been a soft summer so far, right? Quality wise and box office wise, though the former annoys me more than the latter. So here’s to hoping that July is even half as great as it looks: at the start of the summer, Rob and myself both went 3/5 in putting July films in our top 5 most anticipated, and if I could go back and show myself the Atomic Blonde trailer, I’d have been 4/5.
Then again, Rob and I both agreed on Alien: Covenant, so maybe don’t trust our judgment too much.
7.7.2017
And look, it’s Rob’s #3 right here: Spider-Man: Homecoming, in which Marvel’s best-loved hero enters the shared-universe fold in his own adventure. Personally, I’ve been left totally unmoved by the trailers, which seem to lack the joyful cartooning of Sam Raimi’s films, and the warm tenor of the reviews, promising “it’s better than a normal superhero movie because it’s more of a high school drama!” is the precise opposite of what I wanted to hear. But it’s not like there’s any chance I’m going to not see it, because I have a disease.
Also, though summertime limited releases are rarely worth a second glance, I am hopeful for A Ghost Story. David Lowery’s films are at least invariably beautiful, and the thought of a serious love story about a ghost appeals to me.
14.7.2017
And now, my #3: War for the Planet of the Apes, third in a franchise that has twice resulted in one of my favorite movies of its respective summer. I cannot fathom why the third time will fail to be the charm, with the caveat that I’ve been actively avoiding reading anything whatsoever about the film’s content.
Also, the customary summertime teen-friendly paranormal horror flick, Wish Upon. It’s a perfectly straightforward thing, on the face of it – The Monkey’s Paw meets Final Destination is the vibe I get, which sounds appropriately grotty – but oh shit, that title. “Wish upon” is a transitive phrase, goddammit, and that hanging pause just makes me want to shake the movie by the shoulders, “wish upon what?” Wish upon an evil music box, but that’s not likely to be a better title. Alas that Wishmaster was taken.
21.7.2017
The weekend of the summer. My #1 and Rob’s #2 pick for the summer, Valerian and the City of a Thousand Planets, comes out, decades after director Luc Besson first decided that he wanted to transfer the ’60s pulp comic Valérian et Laureline into the most dazzling sci-fi epic cinema has ever known, and based on the trailers, it looks like he might have even hit that target. It is one of those movies that I’m already prepared to adore even though it’s a big flop that’s regarded as a chaotic mess by most people; such is life. Having since read the comics, I will say that I’m more excited now than I was back in April, if such a thing is possible.
But I’m optimistic that no such hedging will be needed for Dunkirk, my #4 and Rob’s #5, in which Christopher Nolan abandons all of the fantasy and sci-fi and whathaveyou of his career to date for a physically grounded World War II movie. And for this too, I am more excited than I was: that came from learning that the film is apparently substantially under two hours, Nolan’s leanest film in almost 20 years. Of all directors, he’s one I expect to thrive thanks to a shortened running time, and the way the trailer is cut suggest to me a movie that focuses on just one small slice of time, refusing to make grander statements about the War at large or war in general, or any such thing, and that sounds just terrific to me.
Lastly comes Girls Trip, the annual film that gives a bunch of African-American actresses a chance to do anything remotely worthy of their time: Regina Hall, Jada Pinkett Smith, and Queen Latifah occupy three of the lead roles, which does indeed get my attention. Also getting my attention: a running time over two hours, and when you have made a “women can debauch, too” comedy that’s longer than Christopher Nolan’s war movie, you have fairly obviously made a critical mistake.
28.7.2017
The first time I saw the Atomic Blonde trailer (and it’s so good, let’s just share it again), I though it was extremely good. The second time, I thought it was, in fact, the best. The third time, I was certain it was the best, and the kind of best that no actual movie could live up to (in fact, I realised something just now: I was disappointed with Baby Driver because the Atomic Blonde trailer is the movie I wanted it to be). And then I discovered that it was directed by David Leitch, the half of the John Wick directing team who didn’t get credit, and that’s when I began to think that maybe, it could live up to that trailer. And oh, how very excited I did become then.
Also, The Emoji Movie is an animated movie about emojis. They are sapient. One of them believes that he is destined to be more than what his society restricts him to being. Patrick Stewart voices the Pile of Poo emoji. I will be bringing a flask into the theater.