It had been my intention to see a movie today and review it – you know, like I do on this movie review blog of mine. The thing is, I’ve got a cold that just will not be ignored, and so I’m allowing laziness to be the better part of valor. A quick post, and then to bed!
Anyway, I’m still sore over the Worst Oscar Slate In Years (okay, that’s harsh… Best Picture is a trainwreck, and I’m no fan of the Supporting categories, but some of the downticket stuff is pretty great, like Costume Design, Art Direction and Sound Editing – and it’s hard to complain about either Lead category, save that they’re boring), so as my parting shot, and since it doesn’t require me to do anything, I herewith present what the Oscars would look like if I were God, and could bend them to my will. Hopefully, tomorrow will bring with my careful chosen musings on Paul Blart: Mall Cop. Or whatever.
(I won’t even make you wait for the winners; they’re marked with an asterisk).
Best Picture
Burn After Reading
The Fall
Happy-Go-Lucky
My Winnipeg
*WALL-E
Best Director
Joel Coen & Ethan Coen, Burn After Reading
Arnaud Desplechin, A Christmas Tale
Hou Hsiao-Hsien, Flight of the Red Balloon
*Steve McQueen, Hunger
Tarsem Singh, The Fall
Best Actor
Mathieu Amalric, A Christmas Tale
Benicio Del Toro, Che
Colin Farrell, In Bruges
*Richard Jenkins, The Visitor
Mickey Rourke, The Wrestler
Best Actress
Juliette Binoche, Flight of the Red Balloon
Catherine Deneuve, A Christmas Tale
*Sally Hawkins, Happy-Go-Lucky
Kristen Scott Thomas, I’ve Loved You So Long
Michelle Williams, Wendy and Lucy
Best Supporting Actor
Emile Hirsch, Milk
Bill Irwin, Rachel Getting Married
Heath Ledger, The Dark Knight
*John Malkovich, Burn After Reading
Eddie Marsan, Happy-Go-Lucky
Best Supporting Actress
*Hiam Abbass, The Visitor
Hannah Schygulla, The Edge of Heaven
Debra Winger, Rachel Getting Married
Marisa Tomei, The Wrestler
Alexis Zegerman, Happy-Go-Lucky
Best Cast
(The category I’d introduce if I were in charge; the award would go to the casting director, I guess)
*Burn After Reading
A Christmas Tale
Milk
Rachel Getting Married
Synecdoche, New York
Best Original Screenplay
Burn After Reading, by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
A Christmas Tale, by Arnaud Desplechin & Emmanuel Bourdieu
The Edge of Heaven, by Fatih Akin
*In Bruges, by Martin McDonagh
WALL-E, by Andrew Stanton & Jim Reardon
Best Adapted Screenplay
The Dark Knight, by Jonathan Nolan and Christopher Nolan
Frost/Nixon, by Peter Morgan
*Let the Right One In, by John Ajvide Lindqvist
Slumdog Millionaire, by Simon Beaufoy
Wendy and Lucy, by Kelly Reichardt and Jonathan Raymond
Best Animated Feature
Bolt
Chicago 10
Fear(s) of the Dark
Sita Sings the Blues (technically ineligible for anything in the real world)
*WALL-E
Best Foreign Language Film
A Christmas Tale
The Edge of Heaven
*Flight of the Red Balloon
Let the Right One In
Still Life
Best Documentary Feature
Chicago 10
Encounters at the End of the World
Man on Wire
*My Winnipeg
Shine a Light
Best Cinematography
*Che, (Steven Soderbergh [as Peter Andrews])
The Dark Knight (Wally Pfister)
The Fall (Colin Watkinson)
Milk (Harris Savides)
WALL-E (Jeremy Lasky and Danielle Feinberg)
Best Editing
*Burn After Reading (Joel Coen & Ethan Coen [as Roderick Jaynes])
Che (Pablo Zumárraga)
The Dark Knight (Lee Smith)
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (Michael Kahn)
Rachel Getting Married (Tim Squyres)
Best Production Design
Australia (Catherine Martin)
*The Fall (Ged Clarke)
Hellboy II: The Golden Army (Stephen Scott)
Rachel Getting Married (Ford Wheeler)
Synecdoche, New York (Mark Friedberg)
Best Costume Design
Australia (Catherine Martin)
The Dark Knight (Lindy Hemming)
The Duchess (Michael O’Connor)
*The Fall (Ishioka Eiko)
Milk (Danny Glicker)
Best Makeup
*The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
Hellboy II: The Golden Army
W.
Best Score
Che (Alberto Iglesias)
The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Alexandre Desplat)
Happy-Go-Lucky (Gary Yershon)
Synecdoche, New York (Jon Brion)
*WALL-E (Thomas Newman)
Best Visual Effects
*The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
The Dark Knight
Iron Man
Best Sound Mixing
*Che
Iron Man
Rachel Getting Married
Synecdoche, New York
WALL-E
Best Sound Editing
Che
Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
Iron Man
Tropic Thunder
*WALL-E
The Altie Awards for Filmmaking Excellence
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