A great war raged between my computer and Blogger yesterday, with many tears and much rending of clothes. I am sorry that you, my faithful readership, were thus deprived of learning a day earlier of what will likely go down as the most important book of 2006: the sequel to the much-loved Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed!
Really, I don’t know that there’s anything to say about this. If the original was misguided and evil, this one’s just crack-addled. From the publisher:
This sequel to the 2005 best-seller Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed! is not only the perfect book for parents who want to teach their kids about traditional values, it’s also a humorous read for adults. (Or at least the 99% of adults who couldn’t care less about gay cowboy movies or Barbra Streisand’s blog.)
The dimmest bulbs of Tinseltown—Daisy Snears, Rayonna, Barbara Buttersand, Sean Penny, Oh! Prah, Ben Aflac, Larry Queen, Whoopie, and “Toenailology” Tom—are all here in this hilarious full-color book. And, along with their media friends Katie Curtain, Michael Maroon, and unemployed Dan, they’ve never been funnier.
Given that the 99% of adults who couldn’t care less about Barbra Streisand’s blog includes me and every leftist, liberal, socialist and freethinker I’ve ever met, I’m not entirely sure what to make of this. Do people like Katharine DeBrecht actually think Teh Libruls give a damn about celebrities? Most of us are just embarassed by them. If there’s an analogue I suppose it would be our tendency to ascribe unwarranted power and influence to the Demon Coulter, but we know she’s not really important; we just like making fun of her giant man hands and adam’s apple.
That aside, what the hell is with that list of celebrities? When did Oprah become a liberal firebrand? Or Britney “we should just trust our president in every decision he makes” Spears? And how on earth did she overlook Tim Robbins, Susan Sarandon and George Clooney?
As I read further on the publisher’s page (an action I do not recommend for children or the elderly, immediately after eating, immediately before eating, or during the act of breathing), I discover that “Help! Mom!” is apparently a character. Or so the phrase “‘Help! Mom!’ is back. And this time, she’s putting your know-it-all Hollywood friends in their place” leads me to believe. So not only can’t DeBrecht write or form coherent political arguments, she evidently lacks knowledge of the proper use of exclamation points.
One last snark (it’s cheap, but I’m bored). Again the website:
“This hilarious sequel…reunites gifted storyteller Katharine DeBrecht with award-winning illustrator Jim Hummel for another small lesson in conservatism.”
Very, very small.
Profound thanks to World O’Crap.