It’s snowing where I am. A gentle, lovely kind of snowfall that makes it the perfect sort of night to stay indoors with something warm to drink.
Sometimes I wonder if movie executives know how nice it is to stay inside during the winter, and that’s why they always lay so much trash at our feet in January and February. Then I remember: they all live in Los Angeles. So this just means that they really hate the audience.
1.2.2008
For example: only hatred can possibly explain Strange Wilderness, a fratty-type comedy about fratty behavior on a yeti hunt. As produced by Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison company.
It’s probably not fair to lead with that, since the other wide releases merely look flavorless: yet another Asian horror remake, The Eye (with Jessica “The Saddest Woman in the World” Alba), and Over Her Dead Body, which looks exactly like a boring February high concept romantic comedy (Ghost, but funny), and yet somehow stars Paul Rudd, who was in like 12,000 movies last year and all of them were at least okay, so I don’t know what to make of this thing.
On the foreign film catch-up circuit, Caramel starts making the rounds.
8.2.2008
And hey, another high-concept romcom, although Fool’s Gold looks to be at least as much Romancing the Stone-style romantic action-adventure comedy. Wait, let me correct that: Jewel of the Nile-style. Better! Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson reunite after making that movie that I haven’t seen. If you care about such things.
There’s a new Martin Lawrence starring vehicle, Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins, and…God, I don’t even know what to say. I hate Lawrence less than I hate McConaughey. That’s pretty much all I have to say.
The first Israeli Oscar submission, before it got disqualified, The Band’s Visit starts on the FFCU circuit, and then there’s what may or may not be a really smart movie with a really bad title: In Bruges. I say “may” because the writer/director is Martin McDonagh, a fucking brilliant playwright, who has only directed one film before: “Six Shooter”, a short, but an Oscar-winning short. Also, Colin Farrell is involved, and he’s not exactly an indicator of guaranteed quality.
15.8.2008
With all the romantic movies opening in the past few weekends, there’s not much left for Valentine’s Day other than a divorce-themed comedy starring Ryan Reynolds, Definitely, Maybe. I hope every word I just said made you die a little inside. On the other hand, it stars Abigail Breslin, who at 11 years of age is actually one of the few actors for whom I’d be excited about a project just because she was in it.
A love subplot will doubtlessly figure into the rather nicely-named sequel Step Up 2 The Streets, with choreography by my new favorite step choreographer Hi-Hat, and that will hopefully be enough to make it interesting. But it is more likely that there will be dancing and fake racial tension.
The sort-of counter-programming: a truly inexplicable sci-fi…thing, called Jumper, featuring everyone’s favorite wood block, Hayden Christensen. And the now-annual “February kiddie-lit adaptation” is filled by The Spiderwick Chronicles, starring young Freddie Highmore in a dual role. Thus is Mr. Highmore’s long road to becoming the next Eddie Murphy begun.
The real counter-programming: after only two and a half years, George A. Romero has already produced a new Dead film: Diary of the Dead, in which zombies invade a zombie student film, and if its not the best film of the month, I’ll eat my hat.
22.2.2008
The new Michel Gondry film, Be Kind Rewind, has been pushed back to this date, and I’m not going to get too terribly excited just in case. Meanwhile, Heat Vision and Jack.
The rest of the weekend looks too dispiriting in contrast to really even think about it: Vantage Point, a really bland looking assassination thriller; Possession, yet another Sarah Michelle Gellar supernatural thriller film, likely to be bland; Charlie Bartlett, an awfully twee (and therefore bland?)-looking indie comedy.
Last and least, Witless Protection, starring Larry the Cable Guy, and to judge by the trailer, “bland” would be a tenfold improvement.
29.2.2008
Rather than the usual February cheap toss-offs, this last weekend of the month seems overloaded with delayed projects from last year, at least one of which was originally to have been an Oscarbait picture – The Other Boleyn Girl, bringing together Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson, and I am enough of a male that I am…intrigued.
Otherwise: City of Men, the delayed sequel to City of God; the delayed Christina Ricci fairy-tale Penelope; and Chicago 10, a delayed documentary about the Chicago 10.
And the new “Will Ferrell as sports pro with funny hair” comedy, Semi-Pro, which to be fair has not been delayed, and is precisely what you would expect to see in late February.