Full disclosure: I love musicals. I love them in the theater, on television, and on the big screen. I’m currently obsessed with The Greatest Showman (despite Tim’s review, I love it), and my children can tell you that I listen to the soundtrack on a weekly basis. I’ve watched Les Miserables half a dozen times. Annie was one of my favorite movies as a kid.
My husband and children on the other hand? Not so excited about musicals, especially when forced to sit through the entire film in a theater. Comments often include, “why are they singing this? Can’t they just say it instead?” and “is this whole movie going to have singing?” and “how long is this movie, exactly?”
Relationships are based on compromise. Sometimes, I watch action-adventure flicks with my husband because he loves them. Even though I’m not keen on watching grown men wrestle and chase each other around with guns, I watch because it makes my husband happy. Other times, my husband sits through a musical movie because he loves me. I’m sure he wants to leave the theater before the movie even begins, but he watches it because he wants to spend quality time together.
If you’re like my husband—enduring a movie musical to placate the one your love—here are some tips to make the minutes pass by more quickly.
1. Try to See Past the Singing
I know this is easier said than done, but the songs usually add meaning to the plot. Instead of zoning out and wishing you were somewhere else, try to focus on the song lyrics as critical dialogue.
For instance, “You’re the One That I Want” from Grease portrays so much of the plot in just one song: Sandy doesn’t want a boy. She needs a man, dammit! And we learn that John Travolta is a horny teenager, but I’m pretty sure we didn’t need the song to describe this.
Point is, stepping away from the fact that the characters are singing allows you to see the larger picture.
2. Create an Alternate Story Line
This one takes some imagination and skill, but if you’re a creative person, give it a try. Let’s just say, for instance, the main characters don’t actually intend to sing, but aliens have invaded their bodies and forced them to burst into song whenever emotions run high.
I’m pretty sure this is the only way my two boys sat through Frozen once they realized the movie including so much singing.
3. Focus on the Snacks
If you’ve tried the first two methods, but you still can’t get past the fact that they are literally singing dialogue, maybe try shifting your attention to something else. Snacks are a great option: you can distract yourself from what’s happening on the screen by immersing yourself in your sugary treats or your tub full of popcorn. This should help the time go faster and keep you satisfied.
4. Make Mental Lists
This is a great trick for anyone who wants to appear attentive without actually focusing on the film. I use this technique often when sitting through mind-numbing kids’ movies. And occasionally during meetings.
Simply stare at the screen as if you’re watching intently but start making mental lists of all the things you need to get done over the course of the week. Your contemplative facial expression will make your partner believe you’re fully immersed in the story, but really, you’re making meal plans, outlining meeting agendas, and mentally scheduling a massage. I can’t confirm that my husband used this technique during The Greatest Showman, but he did seem awfully productive the following day.
Your S.O.: “What did you think of that interaction between the main character and her daughter? Wasn’t that heart-wrenching?”
You: “Absolutely. So sad. What were your favorite parts of the movie?”
See how that works? Your partner will be none-the-wiser, and you will be ready to take on your work week.
5. Take Frequent Bathroom Breaks
I saw Pitch Perfect in the theater with several other women. During the course of the movie, the man in front of us must have made four or five trips to the loo. Perhaps he had a prostate problem…or perhaps he wasn’t a fan of musicals.
If you’ve tried your best to engage in the plot and enjoy the movie as much as your partner does, but you just cannot get past the terrible lip-syncing, it’s time to use the toilet as your last line of defense.
No one will ever question your supposed gastrointestinal issues, and you won’t have to discuss important plot points after the movie is done. Plus, you can check social media and play some Candy Crush while you’re in there.
If you’re reading this and you’re the one who loves musicals, give your partner some grace. Musicals aren’t for everyone. Plus, you can use some of these tips next time you have to sit through another superhero movie.
Becca Stewart is a freelance writer and editor, avid traveler, military spouse, and boy mom. She loves movies, but can often be heard in the theater whispering “in the book, this part was completely different.” You can learn more about her at her website, writebecca.com.