There’s just a week left in Pride Month, which means that the Kickstarter for Hauntology (the film Rob is producing, as documented in the Amateur Hour podcast) is winding down. While the project is still fully funded, they still need just a little more juice to get to their first stretch goal! You can take a look at their vision and your donation perks at the link below.
Click here to donate to Hauntology!
Because Hauntology is a road trip-based horror anthology, I thought I’d share a few tips and tricks in case anyone is taking a road trip this summer and wants to avoid ending up in a horror movie situation.
#5 Avoid Hitchhikers (Unless They’re Jamie Lee Curtis)
For every Hitch in Roadgames, there’s a knife-wielding Rutger Hauer, a manipulative 1950s weirdo, or a whatever the fuck Edwin Neal was doing in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre. Just don’t do it.
#4 Don’t Even LOOK at a Truck
If you engage with a truck driver in any capacity, that is a guarantee that you are about to enter a world of hurt. The best case scenario is that there is a Jeepers Creeper in there trying to eat you, because you might be facing a deadly radio-based stalker played by Buffalo Bill himself like in Joy Ride or the personification of pure, faceless evil if you’re unlucky enough to be on a business trip in the early ’70s.
#3 Don’t Stop Local
I know this rubs against the economic ethics of many people, but please. Feel free to support local businesses in your town. Where if you go missing, somebody might notice. But if you’re stopping somewhere for the night, you might want to avoid the creepy house made of wax, or that rundown motel with a vacancy. Nothing good comes of tourist traps or rest stops without a Yelp listing. And whatever you do, don’t ask the recipe for Farmer Vincent’s fritters.
#2 Don’t Ride with Someone Who’s About to be Famous
Get in the car. Look at the passenger seat. Is Jessica Biel sitting there, fresh from the set of Seventh Heaven? Or maybe a pre-Fast and Furious Paul Walker? Chris Hemsworth before Thor? A teenage Katherine Heigl? Fucking Linda Hamilton? Get out of that car. If your tripmate’s star is rising, yours will soon be sinking to the depths of hell, because they’re almost definitely going to live so I have bad news for you.
#1 Go Electric
This is both good for the environment and good for keeping all your blood and bones inside your body. It is NEVER a good idea to stop at a gas station. At best, you’ll meet a terrifying harbinger of doom, warning you that the camp has a death curse, that them there hills have eyes, or what have you. At worst, you might have to stick around and fight for your life on those grimy tile floors while you’re being attacked by a splinter or some shit.
Brennan Klein is a millennial who knows way more about 80’s slasher movies than he has any right to. He’s a former host of the Attack of the Queerwolf podcast and a current senior movie/TV news writer at Screen Rant. You can find his other reviews on his blog Popcorn Culture. Follow him on Twitter or Letterboxd, if you feel like it.