Discovering good movies, one bad movie at a time

A cursory perusal of the reviews for Disney’s new remake of The Lion King reveals that even some of the pointedly negative ones will concede that it is, at least, a very visually amazing, even beautiful film. This is wrong. It looks like a dead dog’s asshole on a hot day. I have never been to the savannas of East Africa, but I have read enough National Geographic to know […]

When I started on this increasingly stretched-out marathon of Disney sequels, one of the few things I was genuinely looking forward to – one of the things that felt like might make the whole damn thing worthwhile – was arriving at the first DisneyToon release of 2004, The Lion King 1½. I’ll admit that my reasoning was immensely broken: the logic went that, since The Lion King was more or […]

In reviewing the direct-to-video Disney sequel, the critic would be well-advised not to spend too much time wallowing about in the question of, “how does this sit alongside the original film?” for that is a question with no happy answer. Better to do one’s best to consider the sequel on its on terms, and if it holds together as an animated narrative by itself, the more humiliating fact that it […]

I know that I have that whole thing where I promised see and review every movie that went to #1 at the US box office, and part of me feels like I really had ought to see the first wide re-release of a Disney animated feature in years and years and years. But I also don’t want to pay $15 for The Lion King 3D just so I can write […]

Some of you may recall that in writing my fairly dismissive review of Disney’s beloved The Lion King, I indulged in a lengthy anecdote about this one time that I got two custom-made, animation-quality drawings from the great Disney animator Andreas Deja. It had been my intention at that time to post photos of those drawings in short order, as part of my post-Disneython wrap-up, but lacking as I do […]

The second-highest grossing film of 1994, and at the time the record-holder for most successful animated feature ever released, The Lion King occupies a very special place in my development into the angry contrarian that I am today, for it was the first time that the twelve-year-old me had ever felt something that I’ve come to expect at least once a year: the palpable awareness that everyone – everyone – […]

A review requested by Nathan Morrow, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! It’s impossible to talk about The King and the Mockingbird without talking about its torturous path into the world: it was in production for 32 years, the longest period in production for […]

Intermittently this summer, we’ll be taking an historical tour of the Hollywood blockbuster by examining an older film that is in some way a spiritual precursor to one of the weekend’s wide releases. This week: in Fast & Furious Presents: Hobbs & Shaw, Dwayne Johnson plays a character who was introduced as a villain in a franchise film before becoming a hero in this standalone adventure only glancingly connected to […]

Intermittently this summer, we’ll be taking an historical tour of the Hollywood blockbuster by examining an older film that is in some way a spiritual precursor to one of the weekend’s wide releases. This week: the finest scene in Quentin Tarantino’s Once Upon a Time …in Hollywood finds Sharon Tate raptly watching herself in the final movie released before her brutal murder. Why not do as Tarantino has, and celebrate […]

There’s a large section of Disney enthusiasts who, like me, cannot stand these live action remakes. For almost ten years now, the Walt Disney Company has spent a lot of time and money to produce big budget retellings of the most popular movies in their animated canon. Because we live in the age of nostalgia, these movies have proven to be huge commercial successes, and Disney has doubled down on […]

The 1976 King Kong really is quite magnificent in its badness. It’s not that it’s a unjustified remake of an all-time classic film, those are are all over the damn place, that’s not worthy of attention. Even if this one is especially unjustified (after Psycho and Seven Samurai, I’d be inclined to call the 1933 King Kong just about the finest movie ever besmirched with a remake). Rather, it’s the […]

I can think of not one single reason to hold back: the first King Kong, from 1933, is probably the most perfect movie ever made by a Hollywood studio in what we would call, I guess, the “popcorn movie tradition” – that is to say, big-budget adventure movies with rip-roaring special effects, or some other form of over-the-top indulgent spectacle. Since this is, maybe, the single thing that Hollywood is […]