The question of Dakota Johnson is one I am not prepared to answer. Is she, in any conventional sense, a “good” actor? I honestly don’t know if there’s enough evidence to judge. She is, I think, a very disrespectful actor: when she is handed a bum script, as she has been handed one with Madame […]
A review requested by Jonny Mugwump, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. At the risk of immediately sounding like the absolute dumbest motherfucker imaginable, I think there’s a very good reason it’s called Picnic at Hanging Rock, not Disappearance at Hanging Rock. Along with L’avventura, this is one of cinema’s […]
I would say that Thanksgiving is the best version of itself I can imagine, but even that’s selling it short: I couldn’t even imagine it turning out as well as it did. The film originated as a parody trailer directed by Eli Roth for the 2007 exploitation film homage Grindhouse, written by himself & Jeff […]
I will say this about Five Nights at Freddy’s, an extremely unlikable piece of shit movie whose enormous, instantaneous box-office success has filled me with the gloomy suspicion that we’re staring down the gun barrel of a new epoch where the only movies that become hits are the ones that can be turned into memes: […]
A review requested by Avshalom, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! What a bizarre coincidence befell Paramount Pictures and Hollywood at large in 1990: two of the five Best […]
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A review requested by Michael, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! We have absolutely no evidence that this is actually how it went down (arguably, we have evidence to […]
Scream VI is the first movie in the 27-year-old Scream franchise that strikes me as being very much “a generic Scream picture”, which is already an achievement. Most slasher franchises have felt like “a generic _____ picture” by the time the end credits have started rolling in their first entry. That we have made it […]
A review requested by Benjamin, with thanks to supporting Alternate Ending as a donor through Patreon. Do you have a movie you’d like to see reviewed? This and other perks can be found on our Patreon page! Rear Window is a film about the prurient voyeurism of watching movies. You know this. I know this. […]
The 2019 anti-mystery Knives Out has a game cast and an interestingly annoying structural conceit, buried (but not very deeply!) below some very dumb social satire and “extremely online” cultural touchstones. It is very much a “fix this one thing, and you’ve really got something here” proposition, but unfortunately, it was written and directed by […]
Return to the complete Columbo index History remembers the 1968 telefilm Prescription: Murder as the de facto pilot episode of Columbo, one of television’s most beloved detective series, but this was neither the intent nor, really, the function of the movie. And its path to its first airing on NBC, on 20 February 1968, in no […]
